The Beginning

I am all in. The chips are all on the table. Day one, the first day of 40, was a major success. Today though, I don’t want to write about that, I want to write about something that came up in my mind while I was in the last 10 minutes on the stair master. Respect.

Respect comes in all different shapes and sizes. There is respect for yourself, respect for others, respect for ideals, respect for opinions…the list goes on. What hit me hard though was the concept of demanding respect only after you show it. I think in this day and age there is a complete lack of respect for other people. There is the ability to hide behind the Facebook pages, the service excuses in text messages and phone calls, and more often than not, I see people avoiding other people. What makes today incredibly different from what was known 20 years ago is that everyone is completely into everyone else’s life. You can literally log on to your computer, and see exactly what is going on with someone…and the worst part, you don’t even have to talk to them. It used to be, and I have never known anything different than the internet age (but I try to live this way), that you would have to call or to meet someone to get to know them. Now though, there are all sorts of methods for cowardice…and it happens to the best.

I try to live my life as open and straightforward as possible, but it hasn’t been easy laying myself on the line and not really getting anything back from those who I lay it out for. Unfortunately, there are times when I literally get nothing back…and while you may be feeling like you dodged a bullet and didn’t have to express your true feelings…you have to realize…the pain that is delivered to the opposite side. If I didn’t know any better from experience, I would have quit laying it out on the line for people a long time ago. But I know, in my heart, that people are genuinely good, and that if you give them enough time…they will eventually come around and surprise you.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was this. “Ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.” True. People can hide behind lots of different barriers these days, but there are the select few who really go out of their way to let you know that they care about you. Those people, as I wrote before, can be your constituents and some are even your closest confidants. These people really do care about you and what you believe in.

This post isn’t bashing people who chose to live their life by picking and choosing their words, it is just an observation I have had over the past year or so. I really let time test this theory, and the more I pay attention to it, the more I see it happening. I have been guilty of doing this too…and after I did it a few times, I vowed to never shy away from a hard or awkward situation. You are constantly tested throughout life, and by looking the other way when something difficult stares you right in the face, you lack…guts.

Love. Passion. Never Quit. The three things that I stand for. In those, I only ask for honesty, loyalty, and respect…the other three things that I demand of myself. When someone tell you that they care about you, take a second to really think about what they just said. It took a lot for them to say it.


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  • Mona Lisa
    April 7, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Your train of thought is so very, very true. Seems to me that you are well on your way to becoming a “Better Man” 🙂

  • ohshititsmar
    April 7, 2012 at 9:29 pm


  • Brenda Blasingame
    April 7, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    It is so true we are constantly tested throughout life and shrinking back from that is not how we move forward. We move forward by moving through. Thanks for the post.

  • omwaombara
    April 8, 2012 at 5:53 am

    The Better Man Project. Yes it is true. People act a lot of the time to please others. Yet how beautiful it is to be in company where people are themselves and you do not need to make apologies for who you are and for what you do!

  • 1stpeaksteve
    April 8, 2012 at 6:20 am

    Great post!

    There is a strange lack of respect, especially when people are allowed to comment in an anonymous manner. For example, blog sites are linked to blogs and are somewhat traceable back to the owner so people are pretty subdued for the most part. However, look at the comments on any Youtube video. Terrible. If they did away with the ability to comment I would not be sad.

    Keep it up!

  • Belles Food Exposed
    April 8, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Awesome post and so true, it amazes me how ripple can talk on FB, yet get them in person and nothing. Today people suffer lack of respect for self and others. How can you learn that thru media? Ya can’t. Great stuff sir!

  • finally_write
    April 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

    “When someone tell you that they care about you, take a second to really think about what they just said. It took a lot for them to say it.”

    I’d have to agree. And also, at least for me, those words have only come from people who really meant it. Unless you embarrass or force someone into saying it, usually when someone says they care, they really do.

  • evea192
    April 12, 2012 at 5:45 am

    Respect, so big word but actually not so difficult to accomplish.

  • dtangle
    April 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    The world NEEDS more men (people) like you.

    i am so stunned that I can’t express myself as well as I would like to. I love your blog. Everytime I am down or upset I glance through all that you have written. Love it!

    Would love to meet you someday, if you ever visit India or if i visit your country (:

    • thebettermanprojects
      April 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      India eh? Yes I would love to visit sometime. Let me know if you are ever in town, I am always up for a good talk.

      • dtangle
        April 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

        Yes, India.
        By the way, where are you from?!