The 3 Characters


I have been listening to many different types of speeches online, and came across a speech by a man named T.D. Jakes. He has an unbelievable voice and speaks with massive amounts of power. I have to write about what he said, because it holds a significant amount of truth for me.

We are confronted with three different types of people in our lives. Confidants, Constituents, and Comrades. 

Confidants are those people in your life that love you unconditionally and who are 100% into you as a person. They don’t care whether you are in pain or happy, right or wrong…they don’t care if you are in trouble, because they will get into trouble with you. They will come visit you when you are down and they will drag you out of a place of hell. You can open up and share anything with these people because they believe in you. Confidants are people who feed you while you are feeding the minds of other people. They are those who make you reach out for more when you are already living a good life. These confidants come around once in a while, and they are few. They are intertwined into your life. They will get in your face, they will get in your business, they will tell you when your wrong…because they are confidants…it is because they love you. Without these people, you will never be who you can be.

Constituents are those people who are not into you like the confidants, but they are into what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for, they will walk with you and labor with you, “but never think that they are for you, they are for what you are for.” If they meet someone else who will further their agenda, they will leave you and they will go for what that other person is for. Constituents believe in what you believe, but never be mistaken by what the constituent is really about. The constituents are important because they do believe in your cause and will support you through it.

Comrades are not for you, they are not for what you are for, but they are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the  victory is accomplished. “These people are like scaffolding, they come into your life to fulfill a purpose, and when the purpose is complete, the scaffolding is removed. But don’t be upset when the scaffolding is removed…because the building remains.” I love the imagery of this because it is so true. We have people in our lives who are incredibly important to us because they hold us up when we need help. The scaffolding is an important job.

Expect the constituents and the comrades to leave you and desert you after a while. Because of this, be careful who you tell your dream to. If you tell your dream to your constituents, they will leave you and try to accomplish the dream by themselves. If you tell your dream to your comrades, they will desert you because they were never there for you in the first place. If people are really for you, they will weep when you weep, and they will rejoice when you rejoice. “I can tell you how to identify people who are really for you. When you walk in a room and you tell someone good news, stop being happy for a minute and watch their reaction, if they are not happy for you, shut your mouth and walk right back out of the door. When they are really connected with you, they will be happy for you when you share your dream.”

You need someone who will be really happy for you. You have to find someone who is behind you 100% and is vouching for you as if it was them. His speech resonated with me significantly because I have had trouble letting people go in the past. But now I realize, people were meant to come and go. Celebrate their purpose, and be happy. I also will carry with me the character of the three different types of people. I never truly thought of it this way, but now that I have heard it, it really makes sense. Remember, your confidants are those who will guide your hand and make you reach for more. They will be the people in your life that truly believe in you, and your dreams. Hold onto your confidants…they are blessings.



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  • wherethedaytakesme
    April 1, 2012 at 9:25 am

    T.D. Jakes, rocks, hope you get to listen to more, he inspires me with his words.

  • Anya
    April 1, 2012 at 11:13 am

    I love this! I have not defined the people in my life this way but this makes complete sense. Thank you for sharing.

  • stephenedwards425
    April 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

    T.D. Jakes has an amazing following. He’s been around for years…yet stays as revelant as anybody I know.

    Be encouraged!

  • just kevin here
    April 1, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    What a great posting. I have to share your insight. I will link you in my own blog. Thanks, Kevin

  • Drew
    April 1, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Will be sharing this on my site, thanks. I’ll add that it’s hard to tell who’s who in your life (the 3 C’s).

  • amodeloflife
    April 1, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Reblogged this on A Model of Life.

  • aefountain
    April 1, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    Wow, you will never have any idea how vitally important your message was to me on this day.
    I can’t disclose the ‘why’, but I am printing out this blog and carrying it with me for the next 2 weeks.
    You put a place of hurt into perspective to carry me forward in a decision I don’t understand was made.
    Thank you. thank you.

  • Nicole
    April 1, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    Love this – good job!

  • bedrockfitrob
    April 1, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    And turn that around, and ask yourself who the most important people in your life are and whether you’re acting as a Confidant for them.

    Guide them, push them, console them with all you have. Are you willing to go past your comfort zone to do it? Live your biggest life to show them how to achieve their own dreams!

  • mimieaguilar
    April 2, 2012 at 4:36 am

    Definitely an eye opener…definitely time to find out who is who in my life. Great post today!

  • rdopping
    April 2, 2012 at 5:01 am

    Brilliant Evan.

    Now I have to think about how many confidant’s I have in my life. I know I have plenty of comrades and constituents but confidants seem to be hard to come by. Maybe that’s why they are so coveted.

    Thanks for the thoughts on true freindship!

  • ellie mack
    April 2, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Very familiar with T.D. Jakes, offers a lot of good teachings. Kudos to you for learning this early – I’m still discovering that some of the people that I thought were my confidants are actually comrades. I guess it’s my own fault of wanting others to have the same values as myself. Thanks for sharing this!!

  • evea192
    April 2, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Nice, now u gave me something to ponder about.

  • finally_write
    April 2, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    I have seen this a lot, expressed when discussing friendship… ‘some friends are for the short haul, some for your whole life, some for a reason, some for a season, etc.’

    It always made sense that people are in your life sometimes for a particular purpose or for a particular period of time and some just there always. But, I really love the clarity in what you shared here from T.D. Jakes… that they are for you, for something you are for, or in line with you being against something. That really helps to remember it, for one, and for two, easily branches out beyond the friendship discussion. I’m going to have to tape this one up on the wall as something to mull over, because already I see it clearing up the air of confusion on at least one relationship that is long gone.

    Very helpful. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • Frances antoinette
    April 3, 2012 at 4:39 am

    Good post…not only should we be aware what type of the 3 people a person means to us…but we should also determine how we behave as to another person.