Just a forewarning, I had to take a walk before I started to write this post. I wrote a few times about the importance of my admitting I had a bad day when I did. Today was great until 10:45 pm and then a match was lit. I am breathing.
My mom always told me that I had a huge heart ever since I was little. I believe it. I will go to the ends of the earth for the people I care about. There are a few people I would go to battle with if they asked me to support them. It wouldn’t matter to me whether they were right or wrong, I would put on the armor and go. When you have my heart, you have it.
I sometimes get hurt because of this. I care so much about other people and want to help them so much that sometimes I walk really far out on a limb. Sometimes that limb breaks and I go crashing down to the ground.
I want to tell you the difference between me now and me then. I used to lay on the ground, looking up at the tree cursing at the broken branch and trying to figure out why it broke. There is no answer. Falling out of trees is part of climbing them. You are going to slip and fall and end up laying flat on your back on the ground below. So I laid down on the floor, grabbed and ice pack, strapped it to my knee and put my feet up against the wall. I just sat there…breathing.
You can’t change it. You can’t figure it out. I will always remember this piece of advice my dad gave me when I really needed it. “When you stand in the kitchen, you have to be willing to take the heat.”
I am okay. I am brushing all the dirt off. But I will not climb that part of the tree where the branch split. I have more pride in myself than that.
Look inside yourself, have faith, you are stronger than you think.