From Your Heart

I’m going to get a little emotional writing this. I often write about the great things in life, about going after your dreams and your goals, about achieving great things. While all of these things are amazing, for a long time I have neglected to write about where my heart is. After going through some pretty rough times last year, I decided to put that topic away for a while. But with the dusk comes the dawn. Things for me right now…are…really wonderful. My heart is warm. And, this really is the perfect time for me to write about that warmth.

John Mayer has a great song called Say. The message is, ‘Say what you need to say.” I love this message because you may always regret not saying how you truly felt. Throughout my life I have felt that speaking from your heart is one of the most important things there is. I don’t want you to be mistaken and be like ‘but Evan, you said your thoughts and your feelings aren’t you.’ Well, this is true, however, you can choose your thoughts and your feelings. When your heart warms up you can feel it. I often think about some of the people in my life that I haven’t talked to in a long time or things are not ideal, and really want to just tell them how I feel and how much I love them. The problem is, and this has happened a ton, is that I have incredibly strong feelings for people and they often mistake my language for something else. There are a great number of people in this world I would go to battle with and run to the edge of the world for. But you know what, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t tell you exactly how I feel about you. How much I love you, how much I care about you. I am not scared to say it. You might be scared to hear it, but I am not scared to say it.

I have gone through a few instances where I have had to hold my feelings and my thoughts in. I had a medium to kind of open things up a bit, but it wasn’t the same. My own personal philosophy on speaking your mind is if you have good things to say to someone or if its coming from a good place, speak it. There is no perfect time to say or to do anything. There is no perfect time to tell someone how much you love them. It doesn’t really matter if you haven’t talked in a day, a month, a year…that feeling in your heart will always stay there with you. The biggest thing I have learned though is to give those feelings without expectation. Don’t expect them to feel or to say the exact same thing you have just said to them. You shouldn’t be telling them this for a an end result, you should be telling them this because it matters to you and that you care. What they do is completely out of your control. You say and you act based on trusting yourself and being authentically you. If that means calling someone or writing someone a letter and pouring it out…then do it. If that is you, if that’s 100% uncut you, then do it. Once again, and this will always happen throughout life, people will always give you their opinion of what you should do or what you shouldn’t do. Why don’t you just sit down and ask yourself what you should do. How in the world are you going to learn if you are always asking other people for their advice. All of the answers are inside of you, think first…ask questions later.

I have been guilty of trying to say or do the ‘right’ thing. What would they say, what do they think I should do, what is the right thing to do? Once again, and I will always bring this back up, society has groomed you into thinking that a certain path is the right thing to do. All the movies tell you…if this happens, do that. I call bullshit. If you are trying to live someone else’s path, who in the world are you? This whole project for me is about finding out who I am and recognizing the parts that have been groomed into inauthenticity. I say groomed because there really is a time where you are too young to realize what has been going on. I am glad I found out now what is has been like for such a long time. It is still a fight. I mean, 22 years of just the same thing over and over and over again. Once you start to go against that, it’s going to take some strong footing and will.

I bought Jordans the other day because every single day I put them on I believe that I will “Become Legendary.” It’s not an arrogance thing, its just a reminder of what I am setting out to do. I have written on the bottom of my shoe two phrases. Hustle, Patience, Big Dreams. And on the other shoe…Here, Now, This moment. I really find that this is the only way that I can live my life. In retrospect, nothing else truly matters. Of course you should listen to loved ones around you who are trying to help etc…but the word is listen. Listen to what they are saying but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to do what they say.

You got a dream…You gotta protect it. People can’t do something’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, Go get it. Period. – The Pursuit of Happyness. One of the best ways you can be happy is to be you. Be 100% you and don’t try to be someone you are not. You have everything inside you that you need to become someone truly amazing. Speak when your heart is warm and fill the hearts of others.



Evan Sanders

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  • beachbodytibbs
    December 17, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Awesome post and awesome blog all around. I will be following you and keeping up with your journey! Awesome!

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 26, 2013 at 11:48 am

      Thanks! Would love to know what you like about the blog so much and how the journey has been so far for you. Please hit me up!

      If you’re a dreamer, go now…or you will regret it. Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter for daily motivation

  • Dianda
    December 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    Really nice written. 🙂

  • Danielle Eliska
    December 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    Thanks, Evan…

  • thewondermya
    December 18, 2011 at 4:05 am

    Hi there, your writing speaks to my heart, thanks for sharing it !

  • Gail
    December 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Hi Evan, great post and your last sentence is so very important when thinking of speaking out.

    Sometimes people interpret speaking out and expressing freely as being given carte blanche to say anything at all! Humanity, though, is best served by voices speaking with warm hearts. Yours is amongst them.

    Thanks for introducing me to your blog and for following mine.

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 26, 2013 at 11:46 am


      Thank you for your very kind words. I appreciate them wholeheartedly. I do believe indeed that we should speak what is in our heart when it is warm. We often get in trouble when we are in pain and say things we do not mean.

      If you’re a dreamer, go now…or you will regret it. Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter for daily motivation

  • sheisindeedundone
    December 28, 2011 at 12:01 am

    I love this post for a lot of reasons most of which I won’t get into here. 🙂 For the most part, however I like it because of how closely I identify. I believe this wholeheartedly and honor it daily. My interpretation is a bit wider. I believe that you should say what’s in your heart when it needs to be said. More often that not, that means telling my best friends I love them, telling my dog just how much I love him when we’re in my apartment alone, or telling a woman in the car next to me that I really like her hair. It also extends to telling people when they’ve hurt me. Sometimes I have to say it to my students, sometimes it’s to a complete stranger, the hardest is when it’s to a friend. What I’ve learned about myself over the years is I don’t do well with settled sentiment. It sits and rots and I’m full of regret.

    Thank you for writing this little remember to honor the little pieces of myself. Your words are appreciated.

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 26, 2013 at 11:45 am

      You are spot on right. You should appreciate the hell out of the people who are around you daily. There will always be those that come and go in your life, but the people who have stood the test of time should be revered and loved. Excellent comment. Thank you.

      If you’re a dreamer, go now…or you will regret it. Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter for daily motivation