I finally get to sit down and write again. I took a break because I wasn’t feeling my voice in my writing anymore. I felt like what I had to say didn’t have much meaning. I also spent a lot of this time searching for something inside of me. Something really important and something that I can hold onto. Just so you know, I found it.
I turned 22 on July 3. These past few days have been absolutely amazing. I have moved into my new place (which we finally will have power today) and have spent my birthday week surrounded by amazing friends. I would not have wished to spend it any other way. I have been smiling for days.
I want to talk about what I was searching for and what I found over the past few years. Your mind is dangerous. It will keep you thinking about things forever if you let it, and you will hold onto this for years. You will never let them go. Your mind is also dangerous because you can be stuck in the future. You can think about things that are 5 steps ahead of where you are right now and never get anywhere. It seems so simple, but after listening to this great tape I found my answer (not the answer) to how I have to live my life. My answer: Here and Now. Whenever I am thinking about something or doing something, I ask myself “Evan, where are you?” If I dont answer “right here” I know that I have to put myself right in the exact place where I am. I then ask “Evan, what time is it?” Same deal, I am looking for the answer “right now.” So my answer: right here, right now.
This is how I have been living. In this moment. In this moment tapping away on the keys is 100% of me. There will be times in your life where you will always think about the past and what could have happened and what could have been. But thats not happening. Those things will never happen. Let them go. You might have to do what you need to do to get through something, and thats okay. But once you finally make the decision to go on, go on. Commit. And when you commit, dont look back. If you spend too much time looking back, your going to miss the things in front of you.
Its a beautiful life. Be right here. Be right now.