This life isn’t a math test. Its a completely different type of test…one where passion, has a funny way of trumping logic. It is easy to go about life trying to find the answers to things. Sometimes, there aren’t any answers. There is only you. What you feel. Who you are. What your gut is telling you. How you spend your time on the dirt you walk on is up to you. Will you spend it trying to solve every problem? Playing the odds? Playing games with peoples feelings? Being scared because of the possible outcomes? Or will you live your life full of passion. Full of emotion. Full of heart. I always knew that the biggest complement I could ever be given was when someone would say “You really put your heart into it.” I knew, that no matter what the outcome was, if I put my heart into it, I could sleep that night.
People will always give you their advice. Listen to it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. But at the end of the day listen to what is within you. What you do and how you act defines who you are. Your heart, no matter how full, scarred, or damaged will never fail you. It is your mind that plays tricks on you. You will justify, create, and fabricate emotions and reasons for doing things. Almost always it is until much farther down the line will you realize what you have done. There will always be times in life where you want to box yourself up and put yourself into a place where no one can find you. You want to be alone and get away from everyone and everything. Over spring break, I was seriously considering going to my roommates cabin in Boise, no one in sight or within miles and just spending the week alone learning to breathe again. My heart complications took that option away. But I still went there in my head. I have always liked spending time alone. Its not that I am being a loner, its just that I appreciate the silence and feeling comfortable with myself. I have never been a constant partier or an attention seeker. I like just being me. Being you is one of the most important things in the world. Don’t try to be someone else. Don’t do things, say things, or act a certain way that will make you be someone you aren’t. In the end, it impresses no one and ends up hurting you. Do things that make you happy. Even when your hurting. You will be surprised how close you get to people during this time. Often, you make friends for life.
I really want to talk about listening to that little voice within you. Listen to yourself, and don’t listen to what other people say about you. Opinions are not truth. When you listen to yourself, you hear what is at your core. I always loved this quote. “They remind us that once you set out on a path, even though critics may doubt you, its okay to believe their is no cant, wont, or impossible.” I try my hardest to never say something is impossible. That something cannot be done. Impossible is only relative. People will always tell you you can’t do something.
All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you’re not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you’re the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no’s become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.
AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES.— Nike ad
That little voice inside you is driving you to become something great. Something unstoppable. But somewhere alone the line we let people get under our skin, tell us we aren’t good enough to do the things we want to do, and we lose faith in ourselves. Our voice becomes muted. Sometimes it takes going through hell to hear that voice again. Driving you to something greater. Sometimes it takes doing the things you are the most afraid to do. Sometimes, it takes someone who has been through it before, to help you walk again. Sometimes though…it just takes you. Everyone was born to do something great. To change the world. Don’t think otherwise. I want to change the world. Who knows what that will be…I certainly don’t know how I am going to do that yet. Maybe its writing. Who knows. But I know that I will. I do know that having passion for what you are doing will allow you to succeed. Being willing to fail, to do something when the outcome may not look favorable. To stand up against all odds. But one of the most important things for me is giving without expectation. To say something or do something and not expect something in return. I am embracing that concept right now. In my journey forward, no matter what happens from here on, I have something that no one can ever take away from me.